Bikini Contest?

Laura, Osl, and CJ were all planning to go to the piano bar here in Richmond Saturday night, which is located in the west end (aka far). Apparently The Beach House is popular for the piano bar, but other than that it tends to bring in an "older" crowd. My friends all got there early, so by the time I got there, I had to pay a $5.00 cover charge. Excuse me??? A $5.00 cover charge in the west end? In Richmond?!? This isn't DC! But all my friends were already in there, so I thought... why not. After paying my cover charge, the guy at the door collecting the money handed me a raffle ticket - I wasn't entirely sure what for. Later in the evening, we find out that the raffles will be drawn to determine who will be a judge.... at..... wait for it.... a bikini contest. Um, what? Is this why "older" people come to this bar? The DJ starts rattling off the number, and low and behold.... ding ding ding - winner, winner chicken dinner! I had a winning ticket - I wasn't sure to be excited about it or uncomfortable, but either way, it's exciting to have your raffle ticket number called!!

The other two judges were a a 23 year old girl, and a 45ish old tatted up dad. I was sitting in the middle of them wondering how I got myself into this... The music starts playing, I hear the people in the bar start cheering, and the girl next to me whispers, "Brace yourself for the big guy..." Um, what?! The first six contestants stand up on the other side of the boot, and the seventh contestant, a very large man, stands up on the end of the booth. I'm talkin' about a large, hairy man in a bikini bottom and cut off top. All three of us judges lost it. It was like roadkill... we didn't want to look directly at it, but it was RIGHT there - we couldn't look away. We kept trying to look down, or look up... but it was right there, straight ahead in front of our faces.

Now don't get me wrong, the other girls were very, very pretty. One contestant worked at Hooters (and it showed), one girl was from the Ukraine and had an accent (her name was "Olga"), and another girl had eyes tattooed on her as a tramp stamp. One contestant was a 19-year old tennis coach. How did this girl even get into the bar!? All the contestants then stood up on the other end of the booth individually, stating their name, where they were from, and had to answer a question. The questions were, "What's your favorite fruit and why?", "If you were an animal, what would you be in a why?", and "What kind of car would you be and why?" The contestant who had the last question, said she would be a low rider corvette, and then proceeded to "get low" to some music. Every contestant gave a little show for all of us. Keep in mind, they would take off their cut off shirts, swing them around, and throw them into the crowd. My fear was that one of those shirts was going to land on my face. But don't worry, every contestant kept their bathing suits on. The last contestant, the guy, ripped off his shirt, swung it around in the air, lifted one of his legs up, and started.....flossing. It was disgusting. We all broke into laughter, and turned our heads.

Judging the contest

So pretty much, the other girl judge and I were laughing, and looking down and away, while the dad was looking at all the girls, nodding, and smiling... it was a little creepy. Collectively, we all had to pick our top three favorite contestants, and then the audience "voted" by cheering for their favorite of the three. For being judges, we all got a free drink ticket. Not that I wasn't thankful for the free drink, but I agree with the fellow girl judge - we deserved a round of shots for this! Well, we should have had the shots before we started judging. After the contest, my friends couldn't help but laugh at the whole situation with me.

After the contest, the "piano bar" portion opened up. We danced and sang, and had a great time! I will say, that $5.00 was worth it for a memorable, hilarious evening!

Emily, me, Laura, CJ, and Osl